Fancy Pick Up Lines en Español

Just a quick note about what we learned in Spanish class today, very amusing. We were doing a cultural lesson about appropriate and inappropriate habits in Bolivia and the US and the majority of the time was spent discussing piropos (which in English translates to a catcall/pickup line)…Sarah and I were given a whole sheet of them by our new teacher, Vicky…and I think the point was to make sure we knew we were being insulted if someone yells this at us (or actually complemented on our unbelievable beauty). Our teacher also gave us some male-bashing jokes in Spanish which I found pretty amusing such as:

“Como es una pila mejor que un hombre?” “Porque una pila tiene un lado positivo!” Har har…basically for those non-Spanish speakers, how is a battery better than a man? Because it has a positive side!

“Que se parece una microonda y un hombre?” “Ambos se calenta en 15 segundas!” (How are a microwave and a man similar? They both heat up in 15 seconds…)

Clearly this isn’t what you would think we are learning in Spanish class in the Peace Corps, but it works and keeps us awake. I had the impression that Bolivian culture was a bit more reserved than the US but then I keep on getting surprised at the progressiveness of things that I see…such as the fact that my host mom is working on making a suit for the oldest host brother that’s 18 and away at college…and she’s a ridiculously talented seamstress…and I come home and see my host dad sitting there at the sewing machine plugging away and helping out. Wonders never cease.

As for the piropos that I enjoyed…here’s a few choice morsels (remember these are supposed to be guys saying these to girls, but I asked my teacher if I could change these around a bit and use them to pick up some guys):

“Que curvas y yo sin frenos!” (What curves and I’m without breaks! Gotta love the car analogy)
Profesora Vicky’s Favorito: “Si el amor fuera como la marihuana, ya hubiera muerto por sobre dosis” (If love were like marijuana, I would be dead from an overdose)

Sarah’s Favorito: “Si tu cuerpo fuera carcel y tus brazos cadenas, que bonita seria cumplir mi condena” (If your body was a jail and your arms chains, how lovely it would be to complete my sentence)

Y Mi Favorito (I’m planning on using this one on a guy so if you know anyone worthy of it please let me know): “Mamacita, tus padres deben ser pasteleros, para haber hecho una delicia como tu” (Honey, your parents should be pastry chefs to have made a delight like you…of course I’d change that to Papacito)

Ah yes, nothing like translating some cheesy pickup lines into Spanish, I shared the “mirror in your pocket, I can see myself in your pants” line and thankfully our teacher wasn’t horrified at the prospect of it…after all, I think she gave us a few that were a bit racier than that.