Breaking Through the Chinese Firewall!

I'm alive!

Yes, in Bolivia I had to deal with all sorts of nonsense. Such as when they tapar-ed a BRICK WALL in front of the door to prevent anyone from getting in the Alcaldia's (mayor's office) but never did I have to deal with censorship (the virtual brick wall that is built up around the Internet in China). I will explain my absence of the past few months from the fact that the Chinese government decided that blogspot hosted too many controversial blogs so they had to block the entire website. Along with youtube (lakjdflaskafj!).

But now I'm back. Props to Adam Bender for his bit of computer saavy and Freedur and I will once again be posting blog entries (once I write something meaningful) :D Plus I am happy to say that I can continue reading all other PCV blogs and other meaningful blogs that are hosted on blogspot such as FUPenguin and Hungry in Taipei! Wheee!

Running Everyday is Bad For You

Finally getting around to updating. I think it actually takes me about a month to collect an adequate number newsworthy stories (or those that I deem newsworthy) in order to post an entry. Anyways, I find that living outside of the US is the best way to realize how American you really are. I recently was talking with a student who told me about her plans to start running again soon but that she needed to limit her running because running everyday is "bad" for you. When I asked her why, she pointed to her calves and said that it was because if you run everyday then your calf muscles get bigger. Oh my. That would be horrible to have toned muscular legs. Good thing I've been lazy in China so I only run once or twice a week which must keep my calf muscles in a semi-atrophied state. Ha, apparently this comment goes along with the Chinese mentality that the more waif-like you look (as in I could break some of these girls over my knee with one hand tied behind my back), the more beautiful you are. Another thing...Chinese women are fanatical about hiding from the sun. Yes, it is true that the sun can cause skin damage and give you wrinkles, especially in a place where it is so strong like Panzhihua...but I saw a woman taking this too far the other day. She was riding on the back of a motorcycle carrying an umbrella...that was open in order to hide from the sun. Hmm...somehow I think the risks of obstructing the view of the driver outweigh the benefits from 5 minutes of sun exposure. Isn't a bit of daily sunlight good for you anyways? How about that vitamin D? That wasn't the first time that I saw parasol/umbrella carrying to the extreme though...I've also seen people open their umbrellas while sitting on the bus in order to block the sun coming in the window. I'm just waiting for the day when I see someone carrying an umbrella while engaged in basketball or soccer. Oh wait, girls here don't play those sports. Ha, they already find volleyball too painful for their arms. What delicate creatures they are!

In other news, I said goodbye to the GMAT after I took the exam in Chengdu. I surprised myself with a good score so no more studying for me...which actually makes me feel empty in a way. Looking back I spent almost a year studying on and off for the exam so now that I don't have to study I need to find something else to focus my attention on...Chinese?

Also, I have been having major western food cravings lately. I am not sure why since I just came back from Chengdu less than two weeks ago where I had lots of Pete's and Bookworm but I have been thinking about barbeques lately. Something along the lines of a grilled chili dog and some potato salad would be good right about now. Add in some corn on the cob smothered in butter and salt and a nice kebab and I would be a happy camper. Also some sandwiches! Reuben or Cuban? Mmm... I haven't been too hungry lately because it's been too hot and the food around here isn't appetizing when it's so hot so I think I've actually lost a few pounds since the pants that I bought when I was in the US are actually a bit loose now. I have discovered that wide leg dress pants are the best thing for a summer teaching wardrobe, especially when worn with Chacos. And I think my students must have thought I was dressed well during class this week because during the break of one of my classes they wanted to have a photo shoot with me. This means they took random pictures of me by myself and then photos of me with them also. Plus I caught a girl taking a photo of me when we went outside for our Earth Day activity and I put on my "100% paper hat" (made in China, bought in Bolivia, brought to China). That hat has evoked responses of laughter (workers at the noodle shop) and comments from others that it is either a farmer's hat or an old man's hat but I refuse to give it up! Mark my words, I am a trendsetter and soon you will see everyone with floppy straw hats on!

A Rat's Tale (har har)

Oh you know you love the puns. Here's something extra for you if you do! http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/28/opinion/28Tartakovsky.html My favorite line -- 'I asked a friend of mine, an inveterate punster, whether he punned while on dates. “Sure, I pun on dates,” he replied. “On prunes and figs, too.”'

Anyways, moving on to the rat's tale. So recently C. was doing battle with a rat that decided to occupy her home. She noticed that bites of apples that she would leave out were missing so she called up the Waiban and had the maintenance people come in and plug up a hole in her bathroom that she thought the rat was coming in through. She was avoiding taking any major action (aka getting a cat or rat poison) because she was afraid of coming home with a dead rat body lying on her floor and was trying to avoid a bloody scuffle between a cat and her rat. BTW, you would normally think that it was a mouse occupying her home, but it was a confirmed rat because although its body was the size of a plump mouse, there was a "telltail" sign of a long rat tail! One day she came home and was going about her business making oatmeal in the kitchen when she turned around and was face to face with Mr. Rat. He was perched on her shelf where she keeps her food and just stared back at her. C. began to freak out so she called M. who took about 40 minutes to get there, the whole time C. stayed there staring at the rat, perched on a little stool (afraid that if the rat came down it would...uhh...bite her feet?), trying to scare the rat into staying put temporarily so that when M. finally got there they could catch him. C. managed to keep the rat in place and when M. finally arrived they managed to scare the rat into coming off of the shelf. M. then proceeded to sweep it (yes with a broom) towards the door to get it out of the apartment while Mr. Rat ran frantically in all directions bumping into things. So eventually M. swept him out the door...but this is the kicker...Mr. Rat attempted to run back INTO the apartment! Apparently Mr. Rat had been living there for quite awhile and decided that it was his home, not theirs and that M. and C. should leave. So M. continued to sweep Mr. Rat down the stairs (from the 4th floor that C. lives on I believe)as Mr. Rat kept on trying to run up the stairs to get back "home." Finally M. was sweeping Mr. Rat down the last set of stairs and landing to get him out and a student comes walking up. This student apparently had an expressionless face (I am picturing someone like Frankenstein that is not smiling) and was just stomping up the stairs. So M. is there with his broom and rat and is about ready to sweep the rat down and out of the apartment and decides to warn the student with some yells of "lao3shu3! lao3shu3!". The student completely ignores this and keeps on stomping up to the first landing where M. is there with the broom and rat. And then...the student keeps on stomping and with one big stomp squashes Mr. Rat under his foot! As a result, M. and C. (who was following the action) shriek and scream and run back upstairs to C.'s apartment without looking back for the dead squashed rat. And the student Frankenstein follows them and apparently is C.'s next door neighbor! So the day I heard that story, I discovered another cultural difference. When it comes to mice or rats, they are like any other vermin (e.g. cockroaches, spiders, etc.)...you just squash them under your foot to get rid of them. But I'm going to say one thing, that I was as grossed out as C. and M. by this because I can imagine squashing a fat mouse under your foot getting very messy...ewwwww. I guess Mr. Rat is no longer going to be bothering C. anymore due to the fact that he met an untimely death under the foot of a student.

Side note: the other night at dinner we (L., C., M. and I) were laughing about farting. Yes, I wonder if we will reach an age when bathroom humor fails to amuse. Anyways, the idea was that in Oral English class or at English Corner we always do impromptu speaking (basically draw a topic on a slip of paper from a hat and speak about it for 1-2 minutes) and that how hilarious it would be if we did crazy impromptu topics. Such as "My Biggest Fart"...oh we just got a kick out of imagining our students receiving that topic. Because there is definitely a culture here in China that farting in public is generally fine (M. told us a story of a man in the bookstore right here in our own Panzhihua that demonstrated this) so maybe the amusing part is all in the American mentality (but then again, L. who thought our discussion was amusing is Chinese). And as a final note, today's Chinese lesson. If you wanted to call someone a "Fart King" or "Fart Queen" (aka someone who farts a lot) you can use the term "Pi4 Wang2" (yes, as in fang4pi4 de pi4!).

You caught me!

Yes Evie, I know I did. My life is not exciting as of late though! Let's just post some random stuff why don't we.

I had my Chinese class today with Wang Laoshi and she warned me to use an umbrella when I go outside because the sun in Panzhihua is especially strong and I will get very dark if I don't. She followed it up by saying that Claire and Colleen are not required to do so because they are white, and white people actually become whiter when they are in the sun. Now how's that for a little known fact?

T-10 days until the GMAT! I compare it to the last 200m in an 800m race (my personal favorite) so I think it's time to buckle down and study hard. This upcoming weekend is a holiday (we have the day off on Monday) but I will be cooping myself up in my apartment to study study study.

Jelly Belly! I am working on finishing off the canister of these that Kelley gave me when I was in Chengdu. So delicious. I especially like them when they are all mixed together like this and you get yucky flavors intermittently...I have always found buttered popcorn a bit odd and I still do and I'm not a fan of the banana flavor (I think that's the dark yellow with brown spots) but the juicy pear flavor is really growing on me and I also enjoy the vanilla ones (white with black dots, not the brown spots which I believe is smores flavor or something like that).

Chunk of beef in vacuum sealed package or a full package of "Salt & Crisp: cheerful Gangdong good taste for you" cookies? Those are your choices when it comes to airline snacks in China. I flew to Chengdu this past weekend for a meeting and got some beef chunks on the way there and cookies on the way back. I was quite surprised by the cookies since I am used to receiving a miniature package of pretzels or peanuts or whatever on the plane, but apparently China Airlines goes all out and lets you have a large pack of cookies to yourself. I am not complaining, although I do prefer the beef chunks.

Today, I had students in my class do movie scene role plays in groups where I gave them a genre and they had to create a story and then perform it for the class. Oddly enough, the "martial arts" film had people using guns to catch the bad guys (no martial arts involved) and then the "mystery" film...well...I'm still trying to figure out what it was. More like a brainteaser I guess. They had one student go up there and explain how there was a woman (40 yrs old) and her daughter (20 years old) and then a man (42 years old) and his son (22 years old) and the woman marries the son and the man marries the daughter and something about their convoluted relationship and what you were supposed to call the father (grandfather) and the mother (grandmother) and how they would be brother and sister to the son/daughter. Or something weird like that. I still don't have it straight and clearly I should have explained "mystery" film better. I was thinking we were going to get a whodunit type scene where someone is dead and they try to figure who did it...but yeah.

Okay, that's all I got. More to come when interesting things actually happen in my life!

Happy Virus...The Perfect Gift

I love the freshmen Class 2 girls. Today during our break they came to find me (I don't teach their class) and gave me a gift. I opened it, and lo and behold, a compact! It is adorned with a bear dressed up in a peacoat drinking some kind of cocktail and the phrase "Happy Virus" on it. Very sparkly and very fashion. It is the perfect gift because the other day at dinner they were asking me what I eat for breakfast and I said that I eat oatmeal sometimes and junk food other times. I said I didn't buy baozi (steamed bun stuffed with meat) or man tou (steamed bun) on the way to class because I was afraid of having it stuck in my teeth and teaching that way and I didn't have a mirror. But now I do! So I can eat baozi and mantou everyday on the way to class and be fat and happy.

Chinese lesson of the Day: Fat is not an insult here. Fat has a positive connotation of being pleasantly plump and cute. If you want to insult someone about his or her weight you need to call them 肥 (fei2) - which I believe translates more to "fatty."

Gender: Male, Female, or Handsome Man?

So I gave my sophomore students an assignment to fill out a biography card with general data and the answers to a few questions. There were a few choice jewels hidden among mostly generic answers. My favorite had to be the card of a student where he put his gender as "Handsome Man" and went on to say that the one thing that makes him different from others is the following re: everyone's fave football star. "Most of us hope themselves have Beckham's face. However, for me, I don't want to have this kind of hope because everyone says to me: 'Beckham looks like you.' This is me." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, somewhere along the line Beckham became Asian. A few other notes of what makes a student different from others: "I think I'm a beautiful and fair maiden," "I'm fat and quiet," and "I'm good at thinking!" Classic.

I also went to a lunch today (something related to Women's Day and the teacher's union) where there were the usual rounds of toasts with beer. Of course, the men like trying to get you to chug a glass of beer with them, but what I realize is that as much as they like testing you to see if you drink, I like throwing it back in their faces and taking a sip and refusing the demands of "gan bei" until they give up. Headstrong independent American women, don't mess with us. We know that you think all Americans can drink a lot of beer and that we enjoy it, but if we don't want to, we won't. Muahaha. I win. I don't mind drinking some beer every now and again, but I don't particularly like doing it at lunchtime, especially when I have an afternoon of studying for the GMAT ahead of me. I particularly enjoyed one man's faulty logic that said I was obligated finish my glass of beer because China gave Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan (the pandas) to Taiwan. Right.

Week 1...Check!

"Hi, my name is Joy, I am 19 years old and from Singapore and I will be your teacher for the semester." Yup, the good old Panzhihua U. rumor mill was at it again. One student told me she heard I was from Singapore and another student told me she heard I was born in 1989 (making me the same age as half of my students). Completely illogical, but then again does it ever make any sense?

So far, so good though. I had all four of my classes and although some went off better than others, all in all I think I made a decent first impression. Even the class that I felt went the worst of all of them (evidence was the clueless expression on about half of the students' faces throughout class), a student that was Michael's student last semester that was in that class told him that I was "funny" and I "speak loudly." Hey, you hear that one? Man, I never thought that day would come but I guess my slow yelling technique for presenting in class is working! My classes have anywhere from 35-45 students so I have to be a little loud to get the attention of the people in the back of the classroom :)

I was thrilled to have a big group of girls from one of my classes come to English Corner, rearing to get to know me better and hang out with me (although the Class 2 girls that I met last semester will always be my best buds). It's a good feeling to finally have my own students though, and as tiring as teaching may be (yes, we do need that hour-long nap if you teach from 8-12 in the morning), it's definitely rewarding. I can already tell it's also going to be a challenge though, keeping the students interested throughout the semester as well as finding ways to let them have fun, but improve their English at the same time. That's tricky.

Ok, I'm tired now! English Corner is an energy-drainer. Apparently Women's Day in China is coming up though so that means we have a volleyball thing and lunch (hopefully a tasty banquet) with our WaiBan and then Sunday we're headed to Xi1Chang1 for a daytrip. Woohoo. Now if I could just find time to study for the GMAT...